i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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