Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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