Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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