Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
