It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
