Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
