I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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