I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
