he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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