Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
