Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
