The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
