I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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