dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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