yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..