I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S