he shaved USA in his pubs
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?