I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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