I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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