So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
