The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i need an iv and a liver transplant
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
