kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
