so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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