I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
