At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
