If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
