One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
