I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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