Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just cropdusted the office
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.