I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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