3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude