I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
