just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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