Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
