I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize