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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize