First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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