Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the day after is always just damage control
worst night to have a conscience
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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