So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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