He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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