My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
