are you so shy because you have an std?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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