After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
