Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
