ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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