who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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