We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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