I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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