Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
