i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
