he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
