Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
