If that was your dad, he is hot
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
