fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
