a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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