she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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