My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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