I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
