i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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